How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
