The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
