yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
