Is it normal to miss your booty call?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
