Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
that may or may not have been my penis.
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