why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
