I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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