Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
