If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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