Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
