I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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