So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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