the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
