Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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