I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
