Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
