Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
