I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
