dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
