just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
