ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
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All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
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BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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