I have demons in me.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
