I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
