it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
