And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
tonight lets celebrate not being married
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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