I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize