she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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