would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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