Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Come see our sink grown plant.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
