Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
