Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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