I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize