This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
