Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
