there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
