It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Randomize
