I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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