i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
