so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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