In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
