hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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