I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Even the bartender felt bad for me
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
