Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
