Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
