well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
