kristin has been a bad kristin
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
