This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
