Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
