I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
