i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
