all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I love having hate sex.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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