am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
