I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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