That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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