just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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