Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
