Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
