The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
