i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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