That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
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