# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I'm always down for nudity.
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