I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
