How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
