Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
